tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post6319430122612587568..comments2023-09-28T02:33:34.790-07:00Comments on Meet Me In the Margins: Is financial independence the ultimate scapegoat for compromising on feminism?Wryly Tenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15279704554557566966noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post-82838524681033235902017-04-09T20:43:04.424-07:002017-04-09T20:43:04.424-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18368099545751776581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post-85939115993242640332013-11-06T05:41:10.152-08:002013-11-06T05:41:10.152-08:00I will say I have not met a female chauvinist, but...I will say I have not met a female chauvinist, but I have met sexist women.<br />I have met women that would assume: if a girl punched a guy in the balls in public, he must have deserved it. There are cops out there that would assume that.<br />There are women at my university that believe women are inherently weaker than men, and that men should protect them. <br />It is still completely legal in the eyes of the law, for a woman to rape a man.<br /><br />Wendy, your points aren't wrong, but they aren't foreign ideas to me; try practicing brevity between point. (A wise man once said, "It's impolite to waste the readers time.")eaterjollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00254665631241561302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post-16551103103046550512013-09-05T06:45:04.095-07:002013-09-05T06:45:04.095-07:00Financial independence is a feminist goal because ...Financial independence is a feminist goal because if you do not have your own money, you ... I am attaining, rather than compromising, my feminist values....<br /><br /><a href="http://www.resolutiontweet.com/air-water-food-financial-independence/" rel="nofollow">financial independence</a> & <a href="http://www.resolutiontweet.com/how-to-create-lasting-first-impressions/" rel="nofollow">first impressions</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17671896696523992032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post-80677243136824074372012-08-17T11:58:52.430-07:002012-08-17T11:58:52.430-07:00Also I am using your comment and my response to it...Also I am using your comment and my response to it as my next blogpost. Please let me know if this is a problem for you or if you want your name ascribed to it.<br /><br />I will take down the post if you wish. I would prefer not to but as I said, you really did help me come to some more clarity about things.<br /><br />Thank you.Wryly Tenderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15279704554557566966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post-8029533482227285112012-08-17T11:42:38.110-07:002012-08-17T11:42:38.110-07:00Two of my previous articles detail my feelings abo...Two of my previous articles detail my feelings about dependence & specifically gendered dependence shaming:<br />http://marginaldialogue.blogspot.com/2012/04/gender-equality-in-dependence-shaming.html<br />http://marginaldialogue.blogspot.com/2012/04/ghosts-or-fighting-against-internal.html<br /><br />The work I've chosen to devote my life to (writing & activism) rarely pays the bills. It sometimes pays for coffee. I work side jobs when/if I can get them. I am all-but-entirely financially dependent on my partner. This might make you think I am a lazy freeloader (I hope not). But does this make me less feminist? or less likely to leave my partner? I don't think so. I don't placate my partner to gain his support, he pays for us because we are a family. It is TOUGH not to feel pressured or guilty about this. I try very hard to keep my sense of independence from being defined by my economic status. <br /><br />Sounds like you do tie your feelings of independence to your economic status. I don't agree with this but I don't think it's a bad thing. I am glad that you are able to find & maintain empowerment in this way (WOOT). But for women who are straight up denied access financial independence (like say teen/very young mothers, disabled women) other nontraditional/non-capitalist avenues to empowerment & independence are needed. It belittles their efforts to tell such women that they will never be truly powerful unless they attain financial independence. (which I don't think you're saying, but is often the implication if women are told to sacrifice their identities to "get ahead" as I see Lady Coders doing)<br /><br />I don't assume that the choice that you identify as so frustrating is the choice all women must make, but I think it IS the reality for many women (& other oppressed folks). My experience is not everybody's, but I chose to accept the financial benefits my partner offers & do work I find most important, instead of working 40hrs in a shit pay job that fails to nourish my passions. It heartens me so much to hear that you didn't have to make that choice. I am, to be fully honest, actually a bit jealous of that because it was a choice I wish I didn't have to make, but based on my chosen profession, one that was necessary. Also semantics: The choice I meant to draw out & identify as false was the choice between professional success & feminism. Which I think you & I are on the same page about already. (apologies if I was unclear or insinuating otherwise)<br /><br />I totally agree that many women (& others, namely male partners & churches) DO disparage women who choose to work long days outside of the home. They're shamed for being terrible mothers or not being invested enough in their families or femininity. This IS a class issue because the overarching goal of this shame is to keep women less economically powerful.<br /><br />In that vein I am thrilled to hear that you (a woman & feminist!) have financial success (despite all the horrific shit described above). But you, one woman, earning the privilege of financial success personally does nothing to ensure that other women will find it any easier/doable than you did. Your personal success is not inherently feminist; personal success is not revolution. <br /><br />Now I bet, as a feminist, you want more women & women's ideas in your field. I bet you encourage other women in your profession. These are feminist actions/ideas; They are helping other women gain more power. Without goals framed towards furthering women as a whole, women who do find success are often easily tokenized & even disdain the kind of work & success other women attain or fail to attain. Without feminist action/ideas successes of individual women play right into misogyny's hands. (ugh, didn't mean for that so sound so spooky-scary)<br /><br />This is a messy complex issue. Thanks for voicing your frustration. It inspired me to to slog through & solidify a bunch of things I was previously unclear about. Wryly Tenderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15279704554557566966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post-48052683124525201122012-08-17T04:53:55.253-07:002012-08-17T04:53:55.253-07:00Personally, I find it frustrating that you assume ...Personally, I find it frustrating that you assume the choice is between compromise your feminist values / live off benefits.<br /><br />Financial independence is a feminist goal because if you do not have your own money, you are dependent on whether or not someone else will be 'nice' to you; which usually (and in the case of my own parents) means placating a man to support you, regardless of his behaviour. <br /><br />I am a manager in an internet company. I wear smart-casual clothing and makeup if I want, or not if I don't. I am attaining, rather than compromising, my feminist values, because if my partner left me tomorrow, I could survive easily. This makes our relationship more equal and makes me feel safer. <br /><br />I have found, that women who do not work, or are able to work part time, are *far* more likely to shame women who want / have to work full time. I think this is a class issue. <br />Ridleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02152291193387885693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post-75517985808837791222012-08-14T21:40:11.546-07:002012-08-14T21:40:11.546-07:00There's also the point that, eventually, a bun...There's also the point that, eventually, a bunch of those women might get sick of pretending and leave. Making it so they don't have to pretend might make them want to stick around longer!Mackenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03695808411116664337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post-67941303621110456122012-08-14T18:32:37.644-07:002012-08-14T18:32:37.644-07:00It isn't even risky. It's not as though we...It isn't even risky. It's not as though we're doing a good job of producing software *that actually works* (and is secure) with the current lack of diversity among programmers and designers.<br /><br />-- David-Sarah HopwoodAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4208425805236379950.post-52105194498411717192012-08-14T13:09:46.683-07:002012-08-14T13:09:46.683-07:00Thank you so much for this. You put into words exa...Thank you so much for this. You put into words exactly what I was thinking, but was unable to articulate well between my bouts of radical feminist crankiness. :)jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09118274018766378101noreply@blogger.com